Neffnie’s Weblog

Creative Expression on Families and Being a MOM

My Independent Child

Easter Dress Up

Easter Dress Up

The independent child, what exactly does that mean? To any parent that has one it means frustrating screams of “I can do it myself” and “leave me alone”. It can mean watching in frustration as your child struggles to do something and as a good parent you know you have to let them but it can be absolute torture not to help.    


Then there’s the half independent, half dependent child. Most likely this is the baby of the family. It’s the little one who so desperately wants to be like one of the big kids and the baby at the same time. You know the type. She screams the “I can do it myself” but the minute you walk away it’s “mommy help me” with tears rolling down her face.

I have a half in half child. She is lovingly dubbed as the one with multiple personality disorder. In the blink of an eye she goes from being the big kid to the baby I once rocked to sleep. So needy and dependent one minute so strong and on her own the next.  Not only is she the baby but she also was born with a rare genetic heart defect. Add that detail into the everyday battles we parents face with letting our children grow up and you can imagine the wars that get waged.

My daughter is so strong and full of life. The doctors dubbed her a fighter and they couldn’t have been more right. She has fought since the day she was born. First for her life and now for her independence. As the baby she fights for her place in the family. Every day she stands out from the rest. She is fearless and fearful all at once. She’s the first to try something new and the first to stand on her own. She Is never afraid to stand up for herself even if that means telling me off.   

I watch my daughter grow and have such a hard time letting her grow. I want to shelter and protect her from everything that could hurt her. I want to keep her my baby forever. As a mom of four others I know I need to nurture that independence in her. I can’t help it if I prefer the needy side of her. She is my last to leave the baby stage and all I want to do is kiss the boo boo’s for just a while longer.

For all the parents of the half in half’s I applaud you for letting them grow up. I applaud you for having the patience and understanding to let your child find themselves. It takes strong parents to nurture their babies into successful children and adults. Remember though that no matter how old they get they are still your babies.

August 16, 2008 Posted by | family, kids, love | , , , | Leave a comment

Conceiving Baby

First of all let me say how sorry I am to the person that wanted this topic. As so many lives do mine got too busy to even be able to write. I have no excuses other than that for why I haven’t been here. Please forgive and know that I am back to help on any subject matter.

On to the subject of fertility and conception. I do have five children as stated in my bio. That does not however make me an expert on the subject of fertility. It makes me lucky and blessed. I am hoping though that I can at least help in this department somewhat.

I only tried to get pregnant with one of my children. The other four were completely unexpected but joyfully received. My four- year old was quite a challenge though. My husband and I had tried and tried for almost three years to conceive her. I saw the doctor’s and had tests terrified that my fertility was lost forever. I was reassured by the doctor that everything was fine but still skeptical. When I am less then sure about a situation I ask questions. Below are some of the answers I received.

1.     Conception can be delayed due to diet and weight. If a person is underweight or overweight ovulation can be sporadic and unreliable. In my case I was slightly overweight. She suggested modifying my diet and aiming to lose just ten pounds.

2.    Smoking, Recreational Drugs and Alcohol can all inhibit fertility. This applies to both men and women. Nicotine can reduce egg supply and lower sperm count. THC is known for lowering a man’s sperm count to almost nothing depending on how often it is used.

3.    “Allergy to Partner”. This one through me for a loop but evidently not everyone is compatible for reproduction. Mother nature has its own natural selection. It was described to me as a type of protection method for birth defects. I have to say I didn’t believe it at first but am now convinced.

4.    Stressing about getting pregnant. Another mythical element to conception. I do think there is some truth to it though. Any stress will make it harder to get pregnant. As most women know stress does crazy things to our cycles. When you stress about pregnancy it’s twice as bad. Not only is there the physical aspect but also that let down when it doesn’t happen. Relax and enjoy the benefits of trying!

When trying to conceive remember that it takes time. There are testing kits you can buy in the pharmacy that can help you predict ovulation better. They are effective but pricey. If you are trying to get pregnant a health and dental screening should be done right away. You want to resolve any health issues prior to pregnancy to insure a healthy happy pregnancy. It’s no fun having a tooth ache while pregnant since most procedures and med’s are off limits.

Diet should also be considered. Folic acid is a much needed nutrient during pregnancy for a healthy baby. Orange juice that’s fortified with folic acid is helpful. Green leafy veggies are very high in this nutrient. Calcium is also a nutrient you want to start stocking up on. Eating healthy now sets the stage for pregnant health eating. Remember pregnancy is not an excuse to eat whatever you want. You still have to lose the weight after baby.

The most important thing to remember when trying for baby is you are not allowed to blame yourself! Blame has no room in this area of life. Conception can happen naturally or with help. No one is allowed to think they are less of a person because they can’t do it on their own. This only fuels self doubt and low self confidence. Remember you are beautiful no matter how you acquire baby; whether it be natural conception, medical intervention or adoption and surrogacy. The most important thing is that you love yourself and baby!

August 16, 2008 Posted by | advice, family, kids, love, women | , , , | 2 Comments

Wanting Information!

This post is strictly for anyone who may want to know more on a subject. Ask me questions . I will address any needs and concerns.  Anything you want to know this is the place to ask it!!! No topic will be shyed away from.

August 23, 2007 Posted by | advice, family, heartache, kids, love, parenting, relationships, Uncategorized, walmart | 1 Comment

Hurray For Dad’s!

A lot of my opinions and tips come from being a mom and all they have to deal with and accomplish. Mothers are multi-taskers, managers, cooks, personal assistants and much more. As a stay at home Mom who used to work I have respect for both sides of the issue; but that I will address in another post. How about all the hands on dads though? I really feel that they don’t get the recognition they deserve. I decided that if I could do nothing else with this blog then at least Icould provide that. 

My husband is a hands on dad! He was there to rock when the colick got too bad. He’s never shyed away from dirty diapers, even at their worst. He’s been known to become the human jungle gym just to give me some peace. He has creative ways of dealing with issues like potty training and sibling rivalry. Not to mention all the not so dad things he’s done for me when I couldn’t. A trip to the drugstore to buy a breast pump comes to mind. From coaching little league to making time for daddy – daughter dates he is truly a partner in the parenting project.

I’d like to also address those single dads out there. Single moms get a lot of attention from media and the like for all they do to care for there childen. You rarely hear about the sacrifices these dads make to do the same. There are many of you out there that seem not to get noticed for what you do; to you I say Hurray and keep plugging.

Co -parenting is also a situation you don’t hear much about unless it’s what the moms go through. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of deadbeat dads that don’t step up. There are also the dads who care enough to send the check, show up for visitation and be a part of their kids life. These dad’s could have taken the easy route like a lot have done in the past but didn’t. They need to get the credit they deserve.

So Mom’s take notice of the daddy’s in your life. Thank them for being the great fathers they are. They need to hear it too. Gone is the time when mom cared for the kids and dad only had to bring home the bacon. Dad’s today realize that being involved is crucial to a childs mental and physical well being. The next time dad offers to give you a break, let him. His way may not be the same as yours but trust me it’s probably just as good.

August 22, 2007 Posted by | advice, dads, family, kids, love, women | 1 Comment

Everything You Need To Know About Online Schooling

I recently started attending college online. While this is a great experience for people who otherwise can not attend, I don’t suggest going into it blindly. I enjoy it immensley but do believe that there are certain aspects that are not made public until you’ve already made a commitment. Here’s some advice for anyone considering taking this step in your life.

There is almost nowhere on the web that doesn’t offer some ad for online education. You see them everywhere asking if you want to advance your career by earning a degree. The choices can be confusing and alarming. Before submitting your information to a school do some research first. If you go blindly into it you will end up being hounded by these schools until you make a decision. Remeber this is still a business. They will do what they can to make sure you sign with them.

Keep your options open while deciding where to go. You need to know what career path you want to take before deciding if a school is right for you. Try to remember that there is more to a successful career then money. You have to like what you do as well. Online institutes tend to market directly to specific professions. Knowing what a school has to offer will help eliminate needing to submit your info to everyone out there.

Online education is a non social environment. You attend classes in a forum setting. There is no verbal instruction. What you learn is from an online book system. You then post assignments to the web in your forum. While there is a chance to make friends it is slim. You are left to your own devices .

This setting may seem inexpensive but in reality it costs more then going to a local tech. school for the same education. The difference can be as much as double. Financial aid is available to help with costs but most is in student loans that you will eventually have to pay back.

The good thing about online education is its convenience. For the busy person looking to further their education but cant schedule their job around school it’s perfect. It’s also great for moms who want education but maybe cant find a way to attend. Everything is accesible and easy to use. You do have to be able to thrive in an environment that is visual as this is how the coursework is done.

Make sure to do your research well. Don’t commit to anything until you do. You also have to make sure that you can stand to work alone as this is a big part of this type of environment. Make sure the school is accredited with the national accreditation board and ask questions. The people that handle your schedule, financial aid and enrollment get paid to help you. They are there for your success. This can be a great oppurtunity for anyone if you know what to expect first.

August 21, 2007 Posted by | college, education, school | 1 Comment